


Crazy In Love

by Lady_danvers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Winn and Mon El/Mike are besties, Angst, F/F, Hints at past alex and astra, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, supercatcorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 16:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5973745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_danvers/pseuds/Lady_danvers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex... Is misunderstood. She's also broken and messed up. At least that's what most people think of her. They think she's crazy. They think she needs to be locked up. And they aren't wrong. </p><p>She gets visions of another earth. And on this earth, she's a secret agent, and her sister is a superhero.<br/>But one vision costs her her freedom, and her sister. </p><p>She kills Astra.</p><p>The judge deems her mentally unstable, and she is sent to a mental institution. Her life seems like it's falling apart. But then she meets a detective. The detective she dreams of at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mad love

**Author's Note:**

> I might change the rating later on as the chapters goes

Alex woke up frightened. Its been a while since she had that dream. Why was she having it again? 

She looked around and quickly, and remembered where she was. She sat up and wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead. She attempted to catch her breath. 

She quickly calmed down because she realized today was Sunday, and that meant she'll get to see that adorable detective tomorrow. 

For now, she'll just have to pass the time by hanging out with Mr Schott, and hopefully that Mike guy comes today too. She wants to kick there asses at pool again. 

Alex moves to the side of her bed. She notices a clipboard on her nightstand. One of the doctors must have forgotten her patient file. She picked it up and looked it over. This being the first time shes seen it. Though she has an idea of what it says.

Patient: Alexandra Danvers 

Patient id number: 005D

Reasons for being emitted: 

⦁ Overactive Imagination

⦁ Compulsive Liar

⦁ Delusional Disorder

⦁ PTSD

⦁ Substance Abuse

⦁ Violence

⦁ Potentially Homicidal

Alexandra Danvers was emitted to the National City Penitentiary for the mentally ill, for the homicide of Astra Inze on May 19th 2015. Alexandra Danvers is known to be violent and is dangerous. When examining and treating, approach with caution.

Update: As of January 4th 2017, Alexandra Danvers has shown immense progress. She is cooperating and behaving. But she still is delusional, and had a slip up on December 23 with the head of the institution.

-Doctor Grant

Alex teared up looking at the piece of paper. She never thought of herself as crazy. But ever since that day with Astra, she doesn't even know if she knows herself anymore. Alex started crying, but then tried to wipe away the tears fast as she heard the door open. She quickly put the paper back into its file and put it back where it was.

"Hey buddy! You up?"

"Oh, hey Wi-uh I mean Mr Schott." Alex corrected herself quickly. But then calming down right after, because its only Winn, honestly she could consider him a best friend at this point.

"Hey, you can call me Winn. Just not in front of the other staff members, okay?"

"Okay. So what's up?" Alex asked with a small smile.

"Well..." Winn Said with a little smirk. "Your girlfriend is here for your...date."

Alex sat there for a second processing what Winn had just said. "What? Winn I don't have a girlfriend. I-"

"You think I don't notice how you look at her? And the way you talk about her."

"I- but she's suppose to come tomorrow."

"I guess she's coming today too. Maybe she looks forward to your... talks."

"Shut up! And give me a second to get dressed." Alex said with a chuckle as a blush spread across her face.

Alex walked down the corridor with Winn at her side escorting her to the private visitation room. Alex didn't know why, but she always felt so nervous when ever she talked to the detective. Of course she tries her best not to show it, but sometimes it doesn't work. Her heart raced as they reach the door to the room.

"Have fun." Winn said as he opened the door for Alex. Which Alex responded with "Shut up!"

Alex watched as Winn closed the door and then she turned around to be greeted by dimples and a smile.

"Easy there tiger." The detective said with a little smile and then she motioned for Alex to sit down.

"Uh hi Sawyer." Alex said with a smile.

"Always nice to see you Danvers. I love our talks so much, I just couldn't stay away." Sawyer said with a smile. She watched as Alex sat there with her mouth agape with the biggest blush over her face. "Kidding Danvers. I do love our talks, but unfortunately I'm not here for pleasure." That didn't help the blush on Alex's face. "I'm here to review what happened on December 23rd, with Mr Lord and your... incident." The detective said with a sincere smile.

Alex looked at her wide eyed and then look down and responded with a small "Oh."

Sawyer felt her heart ache for the woman. She didn't know why, but she could tell whenever the woman was lying and when she was telling the truth. "Hey." The Detective said sincerely, as she reached out to caress the top of Alex's hand with her own and began to move her thumb in soothing patterns.

Alex didn't look up though. She just flipped her hand around and held the detectives in her own. She could feel the tears beginning to burn in her eyes. She tried so hard to keep the tears in, but she couldn't and she started to sob. The next thing that happened shocked Alex.

The detective saw Alex cry for the first time, since shes known her. She couldn't bare it so she let go of Alex's hand and got up and walked around the table to hug her. "Just tell me what happened. Okay?" Sawyer said as she knelt down to look at Alex, who looked so sad and scared. She grabbed her hand and looked down for a moment and then back up. "How about this? I'll ask you questions and you just nod or shake your head. Okay?"

"Okay" Alex said quietly.

"Thank you." Detective Sawyer said quietly and then stood up and walked back to her seat. She opened her file and began to read it to Alex "On December 23rd of 2016 you approached Mr Lord in his office and attacked him? Is that correct?" Sawyer waited for a response, but got nothing instead. Alex still wasn't even looking at her. "Alex please, you prom-"

"There's your first mistake!"

Maggie looked shock by the sudden interruption.

"Thinking I'd keep your stupid promise!! You're even stupider than you look. I don't even know how you thought coming in here without me being cuffed, or anything was safe. I could just reach over and hurt you! Maybe worse!" Alex said fairly loud with anger in her voice and face as she banged her fists on the metal table, causing the Detective to jump. She was glaring at the detective, but then her face quickly turned into a frown and her eyes started to water.

Sawyer just sat there for a second processing what she had just said. She tilted her head to the side and looked at Alex with a small smile "I requested that you wouldn't be cuffed because I trust you Alex."

"Why!?" Alex said with a shaky voice as she looked at the detective.

"There's just something about you. I don't feel in danger, and I know how strong and skilled you are. I just... I feel safe here with you."

"How can you feel safe with a crazy person sitting across from you?" Alex laughed quietly.

"I answered your question. I think it's only fair that you answer mine."

Alex sat there, before she decided to respond. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling vulnerable. "He called me to his office, and Mr Schott escorted me there, and he told Winn to leave us and he did. When he left, Lord locked his door and then told me to be quiet and to not try anything or he'd hurt me, and then he grabbed me and pulled me toward him and he told me to... to." Alex tried to finish but couldn't, she was trying so hard not to sob but some tears still came.

"Okay. Alex I think that's enough for today." Sawyer tried her best not to cry for Alex. Understanding now what exactly happened. Sawyer started to pack up her things but was stopped by Alex's hand.

"Uh actually I was wondering if... if maybe you'd liked... liked to... its just we never actually get to talk much about anything other than this place and... I consider you a friend and was wondering if you'd want to stay to just... chat?" Alex struggle to get out the words she wanted to ask. Feeling really embarrassed.

"Oh Danvers I-

"You don't have to if you don't want to!" Alex said quickly, and braced herself as if someone was going to hit her, and she was waiting for the blow.

"I was going to say I'd love too, but I have to get back to work." Sawyer said with a sad face.

"Oh." was all Alex could say. Disappointment filling her. 

"But I promise when I come in tomorrow we can talk about whatever you want." Sawyer said as she gathered her things and stood up. She walked over toward the door, but stopped before she could pass Alex. She turned over to see her looking down at her lap with her hair draping over the sides of her face. Sawyer bent down, at Alex's side and moved some of her hair out of her face and whispered in her ear "I'll even bring you some pot-stickers." Sawyer said as she saw a little smile creep up on Alex's face, and then she did something that could cost her, but when it came to Alex, even she felt a little crazy. 

She reached up and rested her hand on Alex's right leg, above her knee and squeezed, and then dragged her hand down a little, until she was gliding her thumb over the front of her knee tracing little patterns there, and her other fingers were resting on the inner side of her knee. "And I swear I will make Lord pay." Sawyer began to move her hand away, not wanting to make the woman think she was taking advantage of her. But then Sawyer's hand was stopped by Alex grabbing her wrist, keeping her still as she turned to face her. Alex sat there for a moment just looking at the woman.

"You're amazing." Alex finally said with so much love and adoration. And then she moved forward and nearly flung herself at the other woman falling into her for a hug. 

Sawyer was a little shocked when Alex did this, but as soon as she did she caught her and accepted her hug. Holding the woman, while they were both on the floor. Maggie looked up and saw Winn tapping on the window signaling if she needs him to go in there or not, and she just waved him away. "You're pretty amazing yourself." Sawyer said before Alex pulled away.

Realization filled Alex's face as her eyes went big. She was sitting in Sawyers lap with her arms around her neck. She quickly got up, "I'm so sorry!!" Alex began to panic a little, hoping so bad Sawyer wouldn't push her away.

"Its alright Danvers," Sawyer said and walked over to Alex putting a hand on the side of her arm to comfort her. "Want me to walk you out?"

"Yes! Please!" Alex said a little to excitedly.

Sawyer just giggled at that and then turned to open the door.

Alex cursed at herself for acting so lame. Quickly becoming embarrassed of what just happened.

 

 

"Awwweee Lexies in lovvvvve!!!" Mike said annoyingly as he dragged out some of the words and he pulled out a chair for Alex to sit down on.

"Hey what did I say about calling me that! And no I'm not!" Alex said as she punched Mike in the arm fairly hard, but making sure none of the other staff was around first, as she sat down at the dining area.

"Why you getting so defensive then? Huh Lexie?" Mike began to laugh as he rubbed the side of his arm, and began making his way to the other side of the little round table, to sit across from Alex. "But really you two would make such a cute couple!" 

"You really thi- Wait! I am not talking to you, of all people about this!" Alex turned away as she crossed her arms.

"Oh come on Al, you're hurting my feelings." Mike said as he pulled out a small bag of cookies and handed them towards Alex. Which Alex quickly took with pleasure.

"You keep this up and you might be my new favorite staff worker." Alex ripped the bag open and began eating one of the cookies.

"Hey!" Winn shouted from the kitchen area behind them, which made Alex and Mike laugh.

"Even If I did like her, there's no way she'd like me." Alex spoke quieter as she looked down. she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Mike giving her a genuine smile.

"So you admit you like her?" Mike said half serious and half to relieve the tension.

"Shut up Mike." Alex giggled before throwing a cookie at him.


	2. Sisters reunite

Alex was tired, but she was too happy to care. She sat there staring at the wall for a few hours. She couldn't stop thinking. 

Kara was finally visiting her tomorrow. It would be the first time since she was emitted. 

The whole thing was really sad and Alex didn't like to think about it. When Kara found out. That was it. Alex watched her as her perception of her sister changed. The look on her face when she watched the police take her big sister. The horrified look on her face when they told her what she did. 

Her life was over. Her job, she could never go back to being a doctor, never go back to the military. No one believed her when she tried to tell them why she did it. Not even Kara. 

"Im sorry. So sorry. I just wanted to protect you." Alex whispered to herself. 

Her mind kept racing about the memories. The way she slid the blade through Astra's back, the way her voice hitched in pain, the sound of her muted screams. She remembers the horrified look on her bosses face as she pulled the blade from woman's back. And the way she screamed when she realized what she had just done. She felt very light headed in that moment. She collapsed to the ground. The large knife falling to the floor in front of her. She thumped to the ground as she landed, her head hitting the concrete. Her arm was out at her side in front of her view and her eyes began to dim. That's when the visions got worse. She blacked out after that. The last thing she saw was a bloody knife and Astra's dead body. 

She woke up the next morning in her room, with a wash cloth over her head. Next thing she knows someone's talking to her. 

"You're like my daughter, Alex. You know I'd do anything to protect you, right?"

She jumped at the voice and went to reach for the gun that usually sat on her nightstand, but nothing was there. 

"Alex relax! Its just me, J'onn!"

Alex's head shot up in his direction. "Wha- what happened!? How'd I get here?!"

"Calm down okay." J'onn held up his hands then made his way over toward Alex and sat down at the edge of her bed, by her feet. "You're sick Alex."

"What? No Im not!"

"You are. Very. But it's okay. We're going to help you."

 

Alex pulled herself out of the flashback. She looked down at her hands and winced when tears came to her eyes. "Im not." She closed her hands. 

She eventually fell asleep. She didn't know when. But she didn't care. 

 

The next morning she woke with a head ache. She sat up and started rubbing the back of her head. 

Today she was going to go see Dr Grant and Nurse Luthor for her check up. Someone knocked at her door and she turned her head. 

Mike peaked his head in. "How's my favorite patient?" He smiled. 

Alex gave him a weak smile. Her head hurt a lot, she needed pain reliever bad! "Hey." She said softly. 

"You look ill?" Mike squinted his eyes, with a questioning look on his face.

"My head..." Alex simply said.

 

"Don't worry a thing. I have something for that!" Mike backed out for a moment and then came in with a cart. 

He pulled out a little paper cup and poured two Tylenol in it. He handed it to her. "Madam." And then he grabbed a slightly bigger paper cup, and filled it with water. "I hope you feel better." 

Alex downed the pills then took the water from him to drown it down. She wiped away any excess water from her mouth. "Thanks." 

"No problem." He smiled before turning towards his cart. "So... You hungry?"

Alex's eyes widened and her stomach growled. "Yes! I could kill for some pancakes right now!"

Mike turned and looked at her with a serious expression, before breaking out into a fit of laughter. "You're so funny Alex! And coming right up!" He separated the curtains under the cart and pulled out a plate with pancakes on it. Then he pulled out a little paper bag and a magazine. "I got you some potstickers and a national city science weekly!" 

The biggest smile came over Alex's face as she reached out for the meal and magazine. "Thank you!" 

Mike gave her a nod. He walked over towards her trash can and moved it out into the hall so it could be emptied by one of the custodians.

Alex grabbed her magazine and started flipping through it as she chewed on her pancake. 

Mike looked over at her and smiled. He grabbed her a few pairs of clean socks and put them in her dresser. Then he took some of the clothes she wore the past week and put them in a hamper, where he'd later take to the laundry room. Which Alex liked to go with him sometimes, because it gave her something that felt productive to do. 

"Hey you should come over here and look at this awesome rocket!" Alex pointed at the magazine, then shoved a pancake in her mouth. 

Mike chuckled and walked over to look at what she was showing him.

 

 

Alex walked down the hall a little nervous. Apparently it was obvious because Winn started calming her down. 

"Hey! Don't even think about it. Its just basically a conversation, okay? And a small check up." 

Alex nodded. 

They stopped when they made it in front of the therapists office. Winn knocked on the door before entering. "Hello Mrs Grant! Lena!" Winn cheerfully said as he escorted Alex in. 

"Hello Winslo! And Mrs Danvers, always a pleasure!"

"H-hello." Alex said shyly. 

Winn nudged her forward, some. She turned and looked over his way and he mouthed an 'It's okay.' to her.

Alex nodded and then turned around and walked forward. 

"Alright, Mrs Danvers. Please don't be shy. This is just a check up on your mental health. Alright?" 

Alex nodded. Then Winn turned and left. Giving Mrs Grant a nod before leaving.

Lena walked in and came up next to Mrs Grant. 

"Hey Alex." Lena smiled. "How are you doing sweetie?" Lena asked in a sweet voice, as she wrote down some stuff on a clipboard. 

Alex spoke up, but stuttered some. "I- I'm good." She said quietly, not making eye contact with Lena. 

Lena looked up at her and frowned. She reached into her lab coat and pulled out a little sucker for Alex. "You want some candy?" Lena asked as she held the candy out to her.

Alex looked at it and smiled. "Yes. Thank you." She took it.

Lena smiled and then started to write more stuff on the paper clipped to the board. "Alex why don't you get up on the bed." 

Alex looked over and walked toward the examination bed and hopped up onto it. "I feel like a little kid up here." 

Lena chuckled as she kept writing. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the school nurse here." She put her pen in her front pocket and then walked over toward Alex. "So... You feeling good Alex? Talk to me." 

"Yep. Just been thinking of my sister lately... And what happened." 

"Aw, yeah? Any visions lately?" 

Alex shook her head. "Not really." 

"Hmm." Lena pulled out a little flashlight from her pocket. "Okay, say ah."

Alex took the sucker out of her mouth and opened it, doing what Lena asked. "Ahh." 

Lena shined a light in there. "Okay. Now you're ears." 

Alex turned her head to the side and pushed her hair out of the way. 

"All good here. Now the last part. And I know you hate this." 

Alex turned back towards her and sighed. 

Lena shined her flashlight in Alex's eyes, looking at her pupil dilation. "Follow the light." She turned it up and moved it in a circle. Then she started to move it left and right, then up and down. "Good." She clicked it off and put it back in her pocket. She pulled out her pen and started scribbling stuff down on her clipboard about Alex's check up, so far.

 

"Can I go now." 

"Eager to leave are we?" 

"I don't want to miss america's got talent. And my sister's suppose to come today." 

"Well we're not done yet. But I'll try to hurry so you don't miss Simon yelling at bad singers. And Is she? That's so lovely. I hope you have a good time." Lena smiled. 

"I do too." 

 

"Okay is my best patient ready for me?" Dr Grant called to Lena.

"Almost done here captain." Lena saluted Mrs Grant as a joke.

"Lol. That's something the kids say nowadays, right?" Mrs Grant asked.

Lena and Alex giggled. 

"I don't know." Lena said. "But she's all yours, until I need to look her over one more time." Lena handed Mrs Grant her papers.

Mrs Grant smiled at her and then she looked over at Alex and noticed the sucker stick, sticking out of her mouth. Mrs Grant turned to Lena; who noticed and she gave her a nervous smile. "I see you're getting my patient all sugared up, Mrs Luthor?" Mrs Grant joked, but looked at her serious. 

Lena internationally panicked and didn't know what to do. 

"That's good." Mrs Grant smiled. "Then she'll have a little energy to stay awake. Good job Lena." Cat patted her on the back, then gestured for Alex to come in the next room, for her mental check in.

Lena blushed as they walked away.

 

"Have a seat Mrs Danvers. Make yourself comfortable." Mrs Grant gestured at the little couch. 

The room was quiet, but had soft background music playing. Basically just orchestra music, and then sounds of nature; like birds chirping and water falls. The room was also low lit, and had nice paintings of nature, on the walls. 

"So, Mrs Danvers have you been having any visions lately?" 

Alex looked at her, and then shook her head. 

Mrs Grant started writing off, onto her board, like Lena did earlier. "Anything new happening? Are you seeing anybody, or is there something in your routine that's changed?" 

"Uh? My sister's coming today. And Ma- Detective Sawyer came here twice already this week, and she's coming back today!"

"Are you excited about your sister coming in?" 

"Yeah! It's been a long while since I've seen her. It'll be nice."

"That's good to hear. And Detective... Sawyer was it? Is she... special to you?" 

"Yeah. Sawyer. And I guess you could say that." Alex smiled.

Mrs Grant looked up at her and noticed a small blush on her face. This subject held a lot more meaning then Alex was letting on.

"Made a new friend have we?" Cat looked back down at her papers after she asked. 

Alex nodded. "I hope so... She's just- she's so nice. And she's very sweet and kind." 

"Yes, yes. All synonymous words to each other." Cat looked up for a moment, as she thought. "Well... Kind is better than nice." 

"How so?" Alex was curious.

"Nice means you're nice, usually because it's expected of you or something that you need to be, if someone else says so." Cat paused for a moment. "...But kind is genuine. Kind is something beyond nice. It's like that additive sweetener that's good for you, but you don't have to put in. It's not expected of people, and it's usually when someone goes above and beyond to do something for someone, because they want to. Kind is... Real." Cat looked at her.

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Sawyer's kind." She smiled. 

 

 

"So how was the doctors?" Winn asked as he walked down the hall with Alex.

"Mrs Grants not really a doctor... I mean she is, but she isn't. She's a certified therapist. Lena's more of a doctor... Even if she diminishes her title by being called a nurse practitioner. Like! She might as well just switch out her license for Doctor Luthor. Wouldn't make a difference."

"True. But was Mrs Grant's okay?" 

Alex looked over at him. "Oh yeah. We just... talked really. Then I had to go back to Lena and get the rest of my physical done and I didn't like it. She gave me a shot." Alex rubbed her arm. 

Winn giggled. "Well no one likes that." 

Alex rolled her eyes. "Hey? Can we go to the cafeteria?"

Winn looked over at her. "Is someone hungry?" 

Almost like it was on cue, Alex's belly growled. They both looked down at it and then laughed. "Does that answer your question?" 

"Yeah. Come on." He waved toward the dining area. 

 

 

"What do you want Alex?" Winn asked before he went up there. He had Alex sit down first.

"Raviolis and some celery sticks with ranch, please and thank you." 

"I'll see what I can do with the ranch." Winn said before leaving to get her lunch. 

Alex bounced in her seat at her excitement. 

"Wow someone's excited to eat. Reminds me of someone." 

Alex automatically stopped in her seat when she heard the voice. She slowly turned around and looked at the person behind her, in disbelief. "You came..." She whispered. More for herself then her sister. She couldn't believe her eyes. She started rubbing them to make sure it wasn't a vision or her imagining it. 

"Don't worry. I'm really here." Kara smiled, but then looked away from Alex's eyes.

 

Alex just sat there and stared at her. She didn't know what to do and she wasn't expecting her to actually come today. "H-hi- hey. Hey Kara." Alex stuttered nervously. She stood up. "Uh... Why don't you come sit?" Alex asked, then she walked around to the side of the table and pulled her out a chair. She looked at Kara nervously as the girl just stood there staring at her shoes, before walking over and sitting down.

"Thank you." Kara said as she took her seat. 

Alex ran back around to her side and sat. They just sat there for a few minutes in silence before Kara started talking. 

"I know you must have questions for me. Like why I haven't visited since... Since you came here. And I totally understand it if you're upset with me." She looked down at the table. 

"Kara... It's fine really." 

"But it's not. You've been in here for a little over two years. And I haven't even called." Kara didn't look up at her. She couldn't. Cause she knows if she does everything from that day will come back, and she cant handle that feeling again. 

"I'm in here because of the things I've done. Don't feel sorry for me because you haven't called or visited me. I-I deserve it."

Kara looked up at her as she said this. She shook her head. "No." Tears came to her eyes. "You don't. It wasn't you-"

Alex screamed. "Yes it was!" As she banged her fist on the table.

The whole room went silent and a couple nurses were focused on Alex. Readying there selves if she got violent. 

Kara just looked at her. She didn't jump and she wasn't fazed by this one bit. She just stared at Alex. It almost looked like she was glaring at her. But in all honesty she was trying to compose herself before she started to cry. She also hates that Alex is like this. 

Alex looked around and she immediately sunk low in her seat. She was embarrassed. Not because she made a scene. But because she took her anger out on Kara. She looked down, and away from Kara. She spoke low and quiet. "I'm sorry." 

 

Winn came back with Alex's food. He was excited to tell her that he found her some ranch. "Hey! Alex! I found that ran-" he paused when he saw Kara. "-hello Kara. Didn't expect you so early." Winn smiled. Then he sat Alex's tray of food down in front of her. He didn't notice that she was all slumped in her chair and looking away from everyone. "What's wrong?" He asked Alex, worried. 

"Nothing." Alex said in a soft voice, then she sighed and sat up. She really didn't feel like getting force fed, by any means. So she started eating her lunch. Kara frowned as she watched her. 

Winn looked over at her with a questioning look. In which Kara responded with mouthing out the words 'She's fine.' 

He nodded to her, then turned back toward Alex. "Well hey. I'll let you visit. I'm going to go check on some other patients. Sound good?" 

Alex nodded. 

Winn left as soon as he got a response. Waving to Kara before leaving. 

Kara watched her eat. She really didn't know what to say. Her sister was different to her. That day with Astra... Kara didn't understand it. She hated that she failed to notice the signs that Alex wasn't well. 

The way she acted so alert the last few months, before her aunts death. The way Alex would just sit there and start to stare off into space, when they were in the middle of having a conversation. How she either looked terrified or happier than she's ever seen her. Or even how Alex would go on and ramble about there being aliens on earth, and how Alex sometimes thinks Kara has super powers. 

How could she miss it all. Maybe if she acted on them, she could have saved her aunt and sister. 

"Alex... I brought you something." Kara spoke quietly. Not wanting to startle her sister.

Alex looked up at her, with a celery stick hanging out of her mouth. She bit it and then grabbed the other end and sat it down on her tray. She chewed the piece in her mouth as she looked at her sister. Waiting for her to finish what she was saying. 

Kara took that as her cue to continue. "Uh! I think you'll like it." She leaned to the side and reached down into the bag she brought with her. 

Alex swallowed the vegetable, and sat up some more, leaning forward. Her eyes went a little wide, at anticipation of what Kara had to show her. 

Kara pulled her hand out of the bag, but held the mystery item under the table. 

Alex waited for whatever it was she was going to show her, patiently.

"This is something very special. I made it... I-I don't know if you'll like it. But, If you don't I can just get you something else." Kara lifted up the item and placed it on the table. "Happy birthday Alex." Kara smiled. She slid the carefully wrapped, rectangular box towards Alex, and stopped right in front of her tray. 

Alex's eyes widened further. She was shocked now. Kara remembered her birthday... Even Alex had forgotten it. She doesn't believe she deserves to celebrate her birth. Not since all she has done is take the life of an innocent woman; someone whom she was close to, and in the process hurting Kara. They didn't even celebrate it here. Not since she requested that they'd keep her birth record confidential from staff workers, excluding Dr Grant and the stupid warden. Because she specifically didn't want them to bother. 

Alex furrowed her brows and she looked down at the box. She reached out and grabbed it. Picking it up and over her tray. She placed it on her lap and started tearing the wrapping paper off. She pulled the top of the box off and then the tissue paper. She giggled at the amount of coverage this thing had. 

Alex pulled out the item inside and held it up. It was shirt. The color of it was a navy blue color and it had a little surfer girl in the upper middle of it. She looked a lot like Alex, except more cartoony. "You made this?" Alex asked in disbelief. She lowered the shirt and looked at Kara. 

Kara nodded. She grabbed a piece of her hair and brushed through it nervously, while looking away from Alex. "Uh... Yeah. I kinda learned how to nit. And, I'm actually really good at it." She glanced back over at her to see her reaction.

Alex was kinda shocked. But to be fair it has been two years. "Oh? Well. You did a good job." Alex smiled. "Thank you. I love it." She held it back up to look at it some more. She really did like it a lot. It almost looked like it was from a store. It was nice, and thick too, and it had three quarter sleeves. A nice medium between long and short sleeves. It be perfect for spring and fall. But it was always so cold in this place anyways, so it could work. 

"I'm sorry." Kara spoke up.

Alex held down the shirt again and looked at her confused. "For what?" 

"For not picking up the phone when you called. Even when you started to call less, you always made sure to call and tell me happy birthday or Marry Christmas or whatever special thing going on. And I couldn't even-" kara had to stop because she was about to cry. 

Alex reached out to her, but hesitated and stopped. She brought her hand back and frowned. "I don't mind okay. You're here now. And that's more than I deserve. You deserve to be told happy birthday, or merry Christmas or even happy thanksgiving. Even if it is from me." 

"You know I'd listen to your messages? Over and over again?" Kara looked at her. "Because I missed your voice and I missed seeing you and hanging out with you. But I couldn't come here. And it killed me that I was at a war with myself. I missed you Alex." Kara was going to tell Alex that she deserves to have her birthday celebrated and she deserves to get visits from her sister. But she didn't want to make her mad. 

Alex gave her a small smile. "I missed you too." 

 

They chatted for a while. They were having a really great time. It would definitely be Alex's favorite day in this place.

"So tell me more about this Maggie person." Kara smiled. 

Alex's eyes lit up at Kara taking interest. "Oh my gosh! She just so- she's so amazing Kara! And she's tough and smart and cool and... beautiful! So, so beautiful!" She spoke with so much passion in her voice. 

Kara smiled. "You must really like her." 

"Yeah!" Alex breathed. "I... She's just. I don't know why I feel this way about her. I've never felt like this... about anyone." 

Kara couldn't help but giggle at Alex's heart eyes. She was going to tease her a little about it, before Winn came jogging back over. 

"Uh, Alex? Sorry to interrupt, but... Mr lord wants to see you." 

Alex's eyes widened. She couldn't go back there. Not again. But nobody believed her when she tried to tell them what happened. Kara doesn't even know about it. Winn was skeptical at first, but he didn't want to believe it. She didn't even tell Mrs Grant. The only person she really told was Maggie. 

"Okay. Im coming." Alex's voice was small. She stood up. "Do you know for how long?" Alex asked. Which Winn just shrugged. 

"He said he's reviewing your progress and that he wants to touch base with how you've been improving." 

Alex nodded. 

 

Kara stood up. "I'll come back later. If you want?"

Alex looked over at her and smiled. "Yeah. That'd be nice. I'll call you. Thank you for coming. And thanks for the present." Alex held up the shirt and then hugged it to her chest. 

"Alright. And you're welcome." Kara smiled and then lifted her arms like she wanted a hug. But she wasn't sure Alex wanted one. 

Alex thought about it for a second. Then she walked forward and let Kara wrap her arms around her. But she kept her arms around the shirt. 

"I love you, Alex." 

"I-I love you, Kara." Alex smiled then moved back.

Kara grabbed her bag and backed away. "I'll see you later." She smiled and then turned and left. 

Alex watched her leave, feeling sad. She almost forgot that she had to go see Lord. 

"You ready?" Winn asked. 

Alex looked down. "Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took such a long time to be updated. I just got so side tracked with other stories, that this one got pushed to the side. I plan to give much more background and backstory on Alex. Hopefully this is a good amount for now. I hope you guys aren't mad about the wait. But anyways hope you enjoyed:)


	3. Is this my punishment?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non consensual warning. If you dont like dont read.

The fact that Maxwell Lord ran this institution and did horrible things disgusted Alex. He got away with everything. She had heard rumors from some of the other female patients that he's a pervert and films them in the showers or looks at then inappropriately. But she hasn't heard anything about him raping anyone. But then again... she has only been alone with him once.

And it looked like he seized his opportunity with Alex. He didn't get that far with her. But it looks like he's going to try again. 

Alex should have said something to someone a long time ago. But no one would believe her even if she did. Max's eyes were always on her whenever they were in the same room. He roamed her body as she walked into the room. It was always her since she's gotten her. Sure he'd look at other women. But from the sounds of it, he's been doing it less. But she got the majority of it.She should've said something to someone. She would try, but all they would do is tell her 'that's absurd.' or 'you probably imagined it.'

Now it looks like Max wanted more. And Alex doesn't know how she's going to react. Or if she can even fight anymore. She doesn't want to get sent over to maximum security, the one for the criminally insane. She cant do it. Not again.

 

"Mr Lord? Im back, and I have Al- I mean, Mrs Danvers with me!" Winn called from behind the door. 

"Oh. Alright! Send her in!" Max called from the other side of the door.

Winn opened the door and gestured for Alex to go in. 

She kept her head low. Not daring to look at him as she walked in. 

Max stood with a smile on his face. He looked over at Winn. "Thank you Mr Schott. That will be all. I will call you when we are done reviewing Mrs Danvers paperwork." 

Winn nodded then turned to Alex, giving her a sincere smile and a comforting look, before leaving and closing the door behind him. 

"Why hello again. Mrs Danvers." Lord smirked. He walked around his desk and went over to the door and locked it. Then her turned around and stared at her. She wasn't facing him, so he gazed at the back of her. 

She could feel his eyes burning the back of her head. She started to shake as she stood there, not looking at him. 

Max shook his head and walked over to Alex. He rested his hands on her shoulders and lowered his face in close to her ear. "You look so good today, Alex." He whispered, then moved down to kiss her neck. He started to feel around her body. His right hand landing on her chest and the other sliding down between her legs. 

Alex froze. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She wanted to scream, she wanted to hit him. To hurt him. She wanted so badly to leave. But she couldn't. She was absolutely petrified and she felt weak and small. 

Max giggled. "I think I want to completely feel you today. Would you like that Alex? How much action have you gotten since you've been here? Think of it as a nice... Relaxer." 

Alex didn't answer him. She just kept quiet. 

Max moved and shoved her so she was facing him. He backed her up into his desk, hard and started kissing her lips. He grabbed her hands and he held them down on top of it. So she wouldn't move. 

Alex didn't kiss back and she could tell it was making Lord mad. 

He pulled her shirt off, then her bra. He stopped and stared down at her breasts with a smirk. Then he reached down and yanked her pants down, along with her underwear. He looked at her fully naked in front of him. "God! You're so fucking hot!" He growled, then he pulled his pants down and moved forward fast, shoving Alex in to the desk, causing her to cry from the pain. Then he reached down and pulled her up on top of it. He spread her legs apart and moved in. 

Alex cried out. He forced himself in, hard. She wasn't ready, and never will she be. Nor was she wanting this. This was hurting, so bad. 

"God! Alex are you a virgin? You're so tight!" He grunted. 

That was another thing. Not only was he forcing this, but she's never had sex, or anything of the sort with anyone. So she wasn't exactly 'open' enough and it hurt. 

"You feel so good!" Lord grunted as he thrusted into her hard. 

She started to pant with every thrust. She was trying so hard not to make a noise. This did hurt, but her body was also betraying her. Tears ran down her cheeks and she just stared at the door. Hoping to god someone would come help her. Hoping a hero would come save her. Her hero. Her... Detective. 

 

"Fuck! You're perfect!" Max groaned as he finished. He pulled away from Alex and then pulled his pants up. He walked around his desk and sat down. Then pulled out a notebook and started writing in it. "Pick your clothes up and get dressed. You can go now." He didn't look up at her. 

She still sat there and was staring at the door. She came back to reality when she heard him tell her to leave. She jumped down and picked up her clothes and quickly put them on.

She walked over toward the door and turned the lock. Then she grabbed the nob. 

"Oh and Alex." Max said before she left. She stopped in her tracks, but didn't look over at him. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill your sister." He looked up at her. "Understand?" 

She furrowed her brows in fear as she listened to what he had said. She nodded then turned the nob and quickly left. Not wasting anytime. 

She ran straight back towards the dorm area. Not wasting a second. tears came to her eyes as she ran. Not noticing that she was in the back empty hallway of the building. She ran to fast that she ended up running into someone and knocking all their things out of their hand, while she fell to the floor, in a violent roll, her body hitting the floor hard. 

"Oh my god!" She heard the person yell, before they ran to her side. "I'm sorry. So sorry! Are you okay Alex!?" 

Alex stared at the ground. She hit her forehead hard and she got rug burn on her hip and arm and her leg felt weird. She turned toward the person speaking, as her body shook from the adrenaline and what had happened moments before in Lords office. "Sawyer?" Alex squinted at her, trying to make sure she was actually seeing her. 

Maggie looked at her worriedly. She held a hand to her mouth. "How hurt are you?" 

Alex started to cry. Not from the fall... Well it was part of it. But that she had just been raped, again. 

Maggie didn't know what to do. "Hey what hurts? How can I help you Danvers?" 

Alex shook her head. "I don't know what to do Maggie! I need your help. It happened again." She cried out. "It happened again!" 

Maggie didn't know what she was talking about. "Alex, what are you talking about!?" 

Alex kept shaking her head. "I cant. I cant. He'll- he'll-" She tried to stop crying, but everything hurt. "Never mind." Alex's head hung low. 

Maggie was panicking. Seeing Alex hurt, hurt her. "Alex." She whispered. She reached out to her and grabbed her hand. "Tell me what hurts okay? I can help make it better." Maggie said softly. 

Alex sniffled and looked up at her. "I-I. My head hurts and my arm and side is burning bad and my leg feels funny." 

"Okay." Maggie whispered. She reached out and pulled Alex's sleeve up, but then Alex yanked her arm back, by reflex. Maggie looked at her with wide eyes, not thinking she'd pull away. "I'm sorry. Do you just want me to take to the doctor?" 

Alex's eyes went wide. She shook her head. "No! No. Just... Here, you can look." Alex held out her arm to Maggie. 

Maggie pulled her sleeve back and the first thing she noticed wasn't Alex's burn. But the giant red hand print on her wrist. "Alex... What the hell is that?" She held her arm up closer to her face to get a better look.

Alex looked at it and yanked her arm back again, then she pulled her sleeve back down. 

Maggie furrowed her brows when Alex did this. "Hey. Alex. It's okay. I wont hurt you. I just want to help." Maggie said softly as she held up her hands for Alex to see. 

"Y-you cant- I cant tell." Alex looked down. 

Maggie's eyes got big. "Tell me what!? Alex please. If something happened to you please tell me."

Alex shook her head. She started to cry again. "You won't believe me! No one believes me!" 

"Try me." 

"It doesn't matter. Who the hell cares." Alex said before she stood up. Maggie quickly got up with her. 

Alex started to wobble. She fell forward, and cried from the pain in her leg. Maggie lunged forward and caught her, before she fell. 

"I care about you! Okay. I care! And whatever it is, it matters Alex." Maggie stood there and waited for her to say something. But Alex said nothing. She moved so she could look at Alex's face, while still holding her up. She was staring off into the direction behind Maggie. 

Maggie turned and looked at where Alex was looking. She saw Mr Lord staring at Alex and smirking from across the room, before he noticed Maggie looking at him, his expression changed. He turned and walked away. Maggie looked back at Alex's face and saw horror and fear in the girls eyes. "Did he do something to you?" 

Alex glanced at her and her lip started to quiver. 

Maggie scrunched up her face in anger. "Alex tell me! You tell me if he touched you again!"

Alex shook her head. Not wanting to answer her for her sister's sake. "No! Just leave me ALONE?" She shoved Maggie away hard and in the process, she accidentally propelled herself backwards and fell back to the floor. 

Security guards and nurses heard the scream and they ran to the area. They were confused by the situation and didn't know how to approach it. They heard a woman scream and then they saw Detective Sawyer standing by Alex who was on the floor and in tears. 

"Detective are you alright?" One of the nurses asked. "What happened? Did she attack you?" 

Maggie looked at her confused. "What? No! She fell." Maggie half told the truth. 

"But... We heard screaming mam. Sounded like someone was yelling for the other to leave them." 

Maggie nodded. "Yes. Mrs Danvers screamed that. But she was just having a panic attack and I came over to her and I accidentally startled her and that's when she screamed and fell." 

The nurse looked over at Alex who was a sniffling mess on the floor. She nodded and the security guards walked over to her and picked her up, keeping their hold on her. 

Maggie's eyes went wide as she watched them. Her head shot over at the nurse. "What are you doing!?" 

She looked over at Maggie in annoyance. "It looks like Mrs Danvers has had one too many 'panic' attacks today. She will be taken back to her room and will be sedated." 

Alex looked at them in horror when she said this. She tried yanking out of the guards hold but couldn't. "No! I don't want that!" She said as she struggled to get away from them. 

"Why does she need it!? She hasn't done anything wrong!" Maggie was getting fed up with them. This whole thing was wrong and it hurt to see Alex in so much pain. "She needs medical attention! She's got burns on her and an injury to her head and leg!" 

The nurse glared back over at Maggie. "Did she tell you that? I'm sure she made it up for attention." She walked over to Alex and pulled out a syringe from her pocket. Alex looked at it and tried to back away. She started to cry. 

"No! No. Don't let them do this Maggie! I'm sorry!" Alex cried.

Maggie was absolutely helpless. She couldn't help her. 

The guards held Alex tighter. Keeping her absolutely still, as the nurse injected her in the neck with the syringe. "Now. Take her back to her room. Hopefully this'll keep her out for the rest of the day." The nurse put the cap back over the needle and slipper it back in her pocket, so she could dispose of it later. 

"Are you fucking kidding me! Why would you do that!" Maggie said loudly, as she gestured at the guard carrying Alex away. 

"I understand you are cop and all and you don't work here. So you don't know how things go around here." She pointed in Alex's general direction. "But That! Patient is a risk to have here. She is a risk to the staff and a risk to the other patients. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be locked up with the other crazy murderers and psychopaths. Not getting a free slip to come cozy up in here. I would have assumed someone working on her case would know that! Or that it would have been obvious to anyone with half a brain, really." 

Maggie glared at the nurse. She quickly looked down at her name tag before she walked off. "Nurse Rhea. What a horrible human being." Maggie snarled. She'd be sure to take this up with her captain and she's definitely investigating that piece of shit Maxwell Lord. She turned and started picking up her case files. Now how is she going to investigate Alex if she's knocked out? 

She got an idea. She turned and went off to go find Lena Luthor. Surely the head nurse/doctor whatever, can help her. 

 

 

"I'm sorry mam. But Mrs Danvers isn't seeing anybody at this time." 

"But you have to let me in! My sister told me she'd call me when she was done and it's been a while since then!" Kara leaned against the counter of the service desk. She was worried about Alex and she just wanted to see her sister again. 

"Well maybe she's still busy." The secretary smiled, feeling nervous, she started to sweat. 

"Listen-" Kara glanced at the name plaque on her desk. "-Jess. She was getting her papers and case reviewed. I doubt she'd be in there for that long." 

Jess started sinking down into her seat. "I-I'm sorry I don't know how to help you. I was told not to let anyone see her at this time."

 

There wasn't anytime for this. Kara needed to call Eliza to let her know what was going on with Alex. She told her she would when she went to see her today. "Fine. Just tell her I came by." She backed away from the counter. 

Jess nodded and then gave her a sincere smile. "I'll tell you what. I'll call you if I find out anything." 

Kara nodded. "Okay. Thank you." 

 

 

"Lena!" Maggie shouted as she walked angrily down the hall. She was fully prepared to fight someone. But she really didn't want to take it out on her friend from College. 

"Maggie?" Lena said confused as she turned around. "What are y-"

"No! You're going to tell me why Alex Danvers just got injected with a sedative because she freaked out?" 

"She was freaking out?" 

Maggie nodded. 

"Maggie she's dangerous. You know it, I know it. We don't... we don't trust her."

"Why!?" 

"Because she killed somebody! She's not even supposed to be here."

"What does that mean!? Why do people keep saying that!"

Lena sighed and then took her seat. "Three months before Alex came here. Three months before you were assigned to her case, she was in a maximum security prison, in the middle of Utah, a no mans land, basically a desert out there. Anyways, It was a prison for the criminally insane. That was where she'd spend the rest of her life." 

This was news to Maggie she didn't know that. In fact there was a lot things she didn't know about Alex's case, or about Alex in general. "Well, what happened?" 

Lena shrugged. "I don't know. We got a phone call that they were transporting a prisoner here. And we were all scared. But they promised she was okay enough to come here. Who ever got her here must have had to pull a lot of strings." She turned and grabbed her laptop and started typing away, for her next patient.

Maggie nodded. "Well... Can you please just go get her and bring her here. She was running and she ran right into me earlier and she hurt herself real bad. She did like a hard summer salt on the floor. She has rug burns on her waist and arm and she said her head hurts and her leg felt funny. Then when she tried to stand her leg gave out and I had to catch her." 

Lena quickly stopped typing and turned in her computer chair. "Why wasn't she brought over here first thing!?" She was mad. "Wait! And who was the nurse that gave her the sedative!?"

Maggie was happy she was actually getting somewhere and that that bitch Rhea might pay. "Some Rhea lady. She basically told me to F off and that Alex needed it because she had one to many panic attacks." 

Lena was fuming now. She slammed her laptop screen shut and stood up. "That damn Rhea! Of course. She thinks she can do whatever!" She stopped and started leaving the room. 

"Where are you going?" Maggie asked as she followed Lena out. 

"I'm about to go fire someone!" Lena shouted. "Go get Alex and take her to my lab, so I can check her over." 

"Okay!" Maggie said before turning around and running off towards the dorm area. 

 

 

Lena ran out down the hall as she looked around the building for Rhea. As she ran, her phone went off.

"Hello?" 

"Lena?" 

"Who is this!? How did you get my number?" Lena didn't recognize the voice. But it was a woman's voice. 

"You might not remember me. But we used to go to high school together. But I was a couple grades below you. Anyways I'm calling about my sister, Alex. Alex Danvers."

"Wait. Alex Danvers? K-kara?"

"Yeah! I'm trying to get a hold of my sister. But no one is helping me." 

As Lena was running down the hall she started to her chatter pick up. It was Rheas voice. "Listen Kara. I'm gonna have to call you back, theres a situation I need to handle." 

"Wait! Lena n-"

Lena hung up on her. She walked into a room and she saw Rhea and Mr Lord.

"Lena hello!" Maxwell said.

Lena rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for this. "I'm here to talk to Mrs Daxine, privately if you don't mind."

Max looked over at Rhea. "Will pick this up some other time." He turned towards Lena and nodded, before leaving them. 

"Hello Mrs Luthor. Pleasure to see you." Rhea smiled. 

Lena shook her head and glared at her. Then she shut the door behind her. "You really think you can just do whatever you want, don't you?"

Rhea's smile fell. "Im sorry?" She didn't understand where Lena was coming from. 

Lena shook her head. "Oh you will be." 

 

 

"Let me through!" Maggie shouted at the guards. 

"We're sorry detective! But we aren't supposed to let anybody in." The guards were struggling with keeping Maggie back. 

"Your boss gave me permission to. So if you don't move, I will go right to her and get your sorry asses fired!" Maggie threatened. 

The red head guard turned and looked at the smaller guard. "Should we take that chance?" He asked. 

The shorter guard shook his head. "I don't want to loose my job. But how do we know if she's telling the truth?"

"You'll expect your past paycheck handed to you." Maggie cut in as she gave them both a dirty look. 

Both guards moved to the side and let her through. 

Maggie smiled as she walked into Alex's room. She looked down at the poor girl. "I promise I'll help you." She said just above a whisper. Then she crouched down and picked Alex up and carried her off to the nurses office.


	4. The things you do to me

"WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO GAIN!?" Lena yelled feeling furious. "Where do you have the right!?" She growled while clutching her fists. 

"Lena please just listen to me. She wa-" 

"No!" Lena cut her off. "You are not the head nurse. Or the head of the damn health department of this facility! I am! And I am your boss." Lena tapped Rheas chest. "You do not have clearance to even use a sedative! You aren't licensed!" 

"I saw a tough situation and I handled it! I thought that was something you would have wanted me to do." Rhea snapped back. She grabbed Lena's hand and pushed it away from her. 

Lena nodded. She lowered her voice. "Well... Looks like you thought wrong. You are fired Mrs Daxine!" She turned to leave before Rhea caught her. 

"Lena wait please!" Rhea reached for her. 

Lena turned to her and glared. 

"I-I. Wasn't there something... Something between us? You- your like a daughter to me. I thought you felt the same." Tears filled Rheas eyes. 

Lena yanked her arm away from her. "There might have been..." She looked away and spoke low. "But whatever it was, it's gone." She opened the door and stepped out. "And you should know that's all on you." Then she left a sad Rhea behind. 

 

Lena ran down the hall. Going as fast as she could till she reached her office. "Maggie!?" She yelled. She slowed down when she saw Maggie standing next to Alex's unconscious body on the bed. 

Maggie looked over at her and gave her a small smile. "Maybe the sedative calmed her?" She asked quietly, hoping for the best. 

Lena shook her head. "She didn't want it. This was forced on her. She doesn't deserve this." She entered the room and walked over towards them.

Maggie looked down at Alex and moved some hair from her face. "Some other things may have been... forced on her." Maggie practically whispered.

Lena's head shot over at the shorter girl. "What!?" 

Maggie shook her head. "Ma- Mr Lord... He- he put his hands on her once. I think he's done it again."

Lena's eyes widened. She reached out for Maggie and turned her towards her. "Why haven't I heard about this!? And why do you think that about the second one?" 

Maggie looked away from her hard stare. "She told me very recently. And I think Alex was running away from him. When she ran into me. She had a hand print on her wrist and he was staring at her when I was holding her up. And when I asked if he did it again she shoved me away." 

"I thought you told me you startled her into falling!?" 

Maggie looked up. 

"This is important information, Maggie! Why would you keep this from me!"

Maggie scrunched her eyebrows together. "I was focused on getting that bitch for doing this to Alex. One thing at a time Luthor! Damn!" Maggie moved out of her grasp. "This is also confidential and I wasn't supposed to tell you. This isn't supposed to get out until we do a rape kit on her and an investigation."

"I can help with that though! And my lips are sealed okay! I promise!" 

Maggie nodded. She turned away from Lena and looked back at Alex, crossing her arms. "Just please promise to make this right."

"As long as hold up your end." 

 

Lena worked day and night on Alex. Fixing her up and examining her body with the rape kit. 

She put cream on her rug burns, to soothe them. Then wrapped a bandage around her head for pressure, just until she wakes up and she can actually give her ibuprofen for the headache she's sure she'll have. Then she checked over her leg. Feeling for it to make sure it wasn't broken. She came to the conclusion that it was sprained. So she readied crutches for the girl and she got a bandaged to wrap around her calf and shin, like she did her head, but she made it tighter. Then she started her rape kit. But sighed before she had to open the box. 

"We shouldn't have to do this!" Maggie grumbled when she came back into the room after calling her boss and telling him where she was and why she hasn't come back yet. "Mr Schott keeps calling by the way. And that Mr Mathews." 

 

"Just know If this really did happen, I'm killing Max. And that's no surprise. Winn and Mike are her caretakers. They're also her friends here. With her sister just now visiting since she's been here and her mothers rare visits, they're all she really has." Lena turned toward Maggie. "And you too." She smiled, then turned back to Alex. 

Maggie's face lit up. She came in a little close to Lena. "She talks about me?" 

Lena nodded. "Yeah. She's mentioned you here and there. On accident though. She doesn't share to many personal things with me. And I heard she's just now telling Dr Grant more. Not to mention she talked about you in there, for the first time, today." 

"Personal? And really? What kind of things does she say?" Maggie didn't know why she wanted to know so bad. But when she heard Alex talks about her she felt a warmth in her stomach. 

Lena glanced over at Maggie and then back again at Alex. "Like I said, she doesn't tell me much of anything that's new. Unless it's about her personal nurses, or her childhood. But... She may have mention that a certain detectives smile brightens her day." She narrowed her eyes at Maggie, to see her reaction. 

Maggie stayed calm. But inside she was freaking out. What's wrong with her. "Well... I think she has a pretty great smile too." Maggie moved to go sit down in the chair at the end of the bed, by Alex. Not wanting to be there when Lena needs to check... that area. 

Lena chuckled. "Does she now?" She was delighted by this news. She hoped for something. Even if it's just friends, but even that will be complicated for the two of them. 

They sat there, not talking for a while, before Lena broke the silence.

"She needs you, you know." 

"Huh?" Maggie looked over at her a little confused. 

"Alex... She doesn't talk about many people that isn't her sister, who make her glow with so much joy." Lena noticed the blush that crept up on Maggie's face, and she smiled. "She needs a friend in here. And not just the staff." She turned to Maggie. "Someone like you." 

Maggie furrowed her brows. "Me?" She breathed. 

"Yeah. You. Someone she can vent to. Not for medical reasons, or because you're the only person here for her to talk to. You're someone on the outside. Someone Alex can be herself with, or start new with. You aren't grounded here and I think that makes her feel a little bit free." She smiled then turned back to what she was doing. 

Maggie let out a breath. Some tears fell down her cheek and she sniffled. She quickly wiped them away, hoping Lena wouldn't notice. But it didn't matter, because her eyes were all red and puffy. So she leaned into the hand; that was propped up onto her knee by her elbow, as she sat with her legs crossed. "I didn't realize..." Her voice started to shake, but she fought to compose herself. She moved her face away and sat up, facing Lena. "I think... I think she's starting to become something to me." She looked at Alex. "I want- I just want to see her more. I think I might do that." She smiled. 

"Then do that." 

Maggie looked at Lena. Her eyes were big with surprise, but then she calmed and nodded. "I will." She turned back to Alex. "I promise you. I'll come back for you." 

Lena smiled and turned away. "I'm all done here." 

"Oh." Maggie said a little disappointed. Only because she'd have to go, but Alex's health and wellbeing meant more to her. She stood up and gave Alex one last look, before leaving the office. 

"Maggie!" Lena called her before she could leave. 

Maggie immediately stopped in her tracks and she turned. "Yeah?"

"Thank you. For being a friend to her, and helping her. You're doing more than you have too, and I understand why." 

Maggie shook her head. "This isn't just about an assignment for me anymore." 

"I'm glad. I'll see you tomorrow?" Lena asked with hope in her voice. 

Maggie smiled, showing off her dimples. "I mean, I'll definitely see her. Maybe I'll stop by your office." She smiled then turned and left. 

Lena shook her head as she left. She waited till she was gone to look over at Alex. "I hope you heard some of that." She smiled. 

 

 

The next morning was not a pleasant one. Alex laid there with a pounding headache, and a burning sensation in her leg. She winced in pain before opening her eyes. She looked around frantically and sat up. 

"Hey! Hey. It's okay." Lena said as she rushed over, with her arms out to Alex. Trying her best to calm the girl. 

Alex's breathing started to pick up and her eyes widened. "Where's Maggie!? I need to- I have to-" She looked around Lena for the woman, hoping she'd be there. 

Lena reached out for her and grabbed her shoulders. "She isn't here. But she'll be back later. I promise you. You can say what you need to then. Alright?" 

Alex looked at her and then nodded when she was done speaking. She calmed down some. 

 

"Alex!" 

Lena turned around and Alex looked over towards the voice. 

"Winn!" Alex said excitedly. 

Winn ran over to her and gave her a hug. 

"Ouch ouch ouch!" 

Winn's eyes widened and he quickly backed up. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how hurt you were"

"It's okay." Alex said quietly.

"Oh! Thank god you're alright!" Mike said as he ran up behind Winn. He wanted to give Alex a hug, but he hesitated. 

"I am. It's okay guys." Alex smiled. "But I missed you two. We all three haven't been together in a while." 

Winn looked at the two excitedly. His eyes lit up when he got an idea. "You guys wanna play crash bandicoot!?" 

Mike's head shot over. He started jumping up and down all excited. Him and Winn looked over at Lena with a pleading look in their eyes, while clasping there hands together.

Lena shook her head. "No." She said a little plainly, then again with a ring to her voice. "No." She doesn't want to be the bad guy, but Alex is in recovery. "Absolutely no-" she stopped when she saw the look on Alex's face. 

She stuck her lip out and furrowed her brows. Her eyes were staring right into Lena's. 

"Alex! You need to get rest. Come on! Don't give me that face!" Lena whined. But Alex didn't break her look. "Fine!" Lena held up a finger. "One hour! And I mean it!" She shot a look over at Winn and Mike. She brought a hand up through her hair before pinching her nose, from the stress of yesterday. "And Please! Don't let anybody find out. I could lose my job." 

"We got your back boss!" Mike held up a thumbs up and smiled. 

Lena rolled her eyes at that, but smiled some.

 

 

"I can't believe you actually used that face on her!" Winn said unbelievably as he pushed Alex in her wheel chair.

Mike ran up next to them as Winn walked to the media room. "Yeah! That was awesome! It's like a power." 

Alex's face lit up. "Well!" Alex breathed, feeling a little modest. "With great power comes great responsibility." She giggled. 

"Must be your super power." Winn smiled. "Like a hero or something."

Alex turned away from him, her eyes widening. Her pupils dilated and her head started to hurt. She gripped the sides of her skull. Trying to apply pressure and relieve the pain, but it kept hurting. She leaned down and started to breath hard. 

Her eyes widened even more. She started to cry in a muted sound as she breathed hard. It basically sounded like she was trying hard not to cry, but she ended up crying quietly. It was shaky and broken. 

"Alex!?" Winn and Mike said in unison and quickly moved to either side of her.

She shook her head quickly. Wanting them to get away from her. Light filled her eyes and everything was flashing quickly. It made her head hurt. Her eyes were open, but all she could see was the vision of her sister fighting a man. And she was wearing the super suit. And the man... He looked like- 

Alex's head shot over to Mike and she stood up and ran at him, shoving him against the wall, hard. Her face scrunched up and her nose twitched with anger. She stared daggers into Mikes eyes. But she didn't see her nurse/friend. All she saw was the asshole Mon el, who was trying to hurt her sister. 

"You! Will not touch her!" Alex shouted as she yanked Mike forward and then shoved him against the wall to hurt him.

He grunted as his back and head hit the hard wall.

"Alex! Stop!" Winn yelled. He held his arm out towards her. "Please. Alex come to your senses."

She turned her head, but stopped half way, not looking directly at him, but enough to see him from the corner of her eye. "I AM!" She growled, then turned back toward Mon el. "This piece of shit isn't gonna lay a finger on my Kara!" She snarled as she moved closer to Mon el's face. She moved a hand to his abdomen and started squeezing there. She knew exactly where and how to hurt him. Then she squeezed the hand that was at his throat, digging her nails into his skin.

He tried not to cry out, but he failed. 

"Alex this isn't real! It's just a vision." Mike said under his haggard breathing as kicked to shake from her grasp.

Winn moved his hand towards the pager at his side, on his belt, but stopped his finger before he pushed the button. "Alex. You're here with us. At the mental hospital. Okay? Please listen to me." 

Alex stared into Mon el's eyes as she breathed hard. She heard Winn. But she didn't want to believe it. Her breathing picked up, and this time her eyes started to water. She let Mike go and backed up. She shook her head. "I did it again!" She cried. Then she started to wobble. 

Winn launched forward and grabbed her just as she started to fall. 

Mike bent forward and rubbed at his throat, while wincing in pain. He looked at Alex with sympathy. 

She watched him try to catch his breath. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. "Mike! I'm so sorry!" She was sobbing now. She turned to Winn. "Take me there! Take me to maximum security! I'm dangerous. I'm a murderer! I'm crazy! I need to be there!" Alex attempted to shake out of Winn's hold, kicking and flailing. "Please! No ones safe with me here! I'm a MONSTER!" She swung at Winn and he yanked his arms back.

Alex fell to the floor with a harsh thud. 

Mike pleaded as he walked forward with his arms out. "Alex please! We want you to get better. You don't deserve to go-" 

"Yes! I do!" She shouted and kicked, so Mike would get away. She whined when she moved her injured leg. 

"But what about Kara!? She wont be able to see you, except behind glass. And that's maybe once every few months." Winn was desperate to get her to calm down. 

Alex shook her head. "She's better off without me in her life. I don't deserve her anyways!" She stared at the floor, frowning.

Mike and Winn looked at each other. Not knowing what to do. 

Mike got an idea in his head and he grabbed his cell and he walked into the other hall to make a quick call. He came back a couple minutes later and smiled. He crouched down next to Alex, who calmed down a lot more. "Someone's coming to visit you. And I think you'll be excited when you see who it is." 

Alex sniffled. "Who?" She was exhausted from crying and attacking and panicking and... just everything that happened today and yesterday. She rested her face in the crook of her elbows, as she laid on her stomach on the floor. 

"I'll let you see when she comes down. She'll be here in a few." 

"She!?" Alex's eyes widened and her head shot up. 

"Don't worry! It isn't Kara!" Mike held up his hands.

"Who!?" Alex asked. 

"Who would your second guess be Danvers?"

Alex turned her head to her left, in the opposite direction of where she was looking at before. She looked up at the figure there and she completely lit up. Maggie stood there, smiling at her, with her hands on her hips. She was wearing a leather jacket over a white blouse (which Alex found very attractive) and some jeans, and her usual black boots. "Maggie!" Alex said excitedly. She attempted to stand up, but she started to wobble. 

Maggie and Winn launched forward for her. But Maggie beat him to the punch and she caught Alex in her arms. 

 

 

Alex was smiling ear to ear, cause this is what she wanted to happen. Maggie catching her, of course. Nothing before that. She wrapped her arms around Maggie's neck and she nestled in close to her neck. 

Mike shook his head. "I don't know how you do it detective." 

"Maggie please. I'm off duty today." She looked down at Alex. "And I'm here on personal reasons." 

Alex looked up at her and lightly gasped.

"Wait. So, you didn't come here really fast, when Mike called you?" Winn asked. 

"Nope. Was already here. Mike didn't know. But he told me where you were." Maggie tightened her grip on Alex. She was nervous if Alex would get upset. But she was relieved when the girl cuddled into her more. 

Alex felt safe where she was. Like nothing could get to her. She was in heaven when she was with Maggie Sawyer. And just being able to be in her arms and listen to her talk is something she will never take for granted. 

"I guess that makes sense. Well we'll leave you two." Winn turned. "You know the way to her room?" He asked, before walking away. 

Maggie nodded.

Winn and Mike started walking away, but then Maggie stopped them again. "Wait! I'm aloud in her room?" She asked confused.

Mike and Winn nodded. "Yeah. Alex was... well a special case, so we just had to take precautions for a while. Also, anybody cant just go in there. It has to be someone that Alex is okay with and comfortable enough to have in there. But she really hasn't had any..." Winn trailed off when he saw Alex look down in sadness. "...Plus you have an orange Id tag. Giving you more access. And we're okay with it." Winn gestured between him and Mike. 

"Oh." Maggie simply said. "I did not know that. Any of it..." Maggie looked at Alex, who looked like she was about to cry. "Thank you guys. I will take it from here." She looked at them. They nodded then finally walked off. 

 

Maggie reached down and picked Alex up, surprising the girl in the process. "I figure you wouldn't want me carrying you everywhere." Maggie gave her a small smile. 

"Uh... I don't mind." Alex nervously squealed. Sounding like a school girl, talking to the cutest boy in school. She hunched her shoulders and blushed. 

Maggie giggled at her. She found her nervousness to be quite cute. She leaned down and sat Alex in her chair. 

Alex kept holding onto her. If anyone walked by, they would have thought Maggie was leaning down into Alex's clinging hug, as she gripped the sides of the red heads wheel chair. She didn't let her go until a few fleeting seconds after she was in. Alex realized what she was doing was weird, so she quickly let her go. Maggie moved away, her cheek skidding across Alex's in the process. 

She stopped as their mouths were side by side and her face was tilted towards her. 

Everything froze for Alex. Her lip quivered for Maggie. She was so close, and yet so far away. She glanced up to try and read her, but her hair was curtaining her eyes from her head being tilted. 

Maggie reached up and ran her thumb across Alex's quivering lip. Her hair still covering her eyes from Alex. Hiding the emotions on her face. 

"Ma-Maggie." Alex breathed. She moved her arms back. Finally taking them off of her neck and she sat back a little. 

Maggie moved back with her. Following her face. As she did this, some of her hair fell from her face and Alex could see the intense curve in her eyebrows. 

She breathed slowly. Trying to calm her erratic heart. She glanced back down at Maggie's lips and then back up to her eyebrows. Alex couldn't tell if she was sad, in pain, in pleasure or... in love. Maybe all of the above. 

"I-I need you." Maggie shook her head, her hair falling away, revealing her eyes, that were staring back at Alex's. She sunk closer to her. Her lips inches from the taller woman's.

Alex's eyes widened with surprise. Her breathing started to pick up and she felt a little scared. 

Tears started to pour down Maggie's face, but she wasn't making a sound from it. She shook her head again. "I want you!" She reached up and moved a strand of hair from Alex's face. "God! You're so beautiful!" She breathed. "I cant get you out of my head. You're driving me insane! I'd do anything for you!" 

Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. 

Maggie started to shake. Her hands rattling the metal bars of the arm rest on Alex's wheel chair. 

Alex looked down at her hands and then back up at her. "Wh-what?" She looked at her horrified. 

Maggie tilted her head and she grinned at her. Looking totally crazy. "I-I would do anything for you." Maggie nodded. "I'd steal for you! I'd kill for you! I'd- I'd... die for you!" Maggie smiled at her. 

"Ma-Maggie." Alex said unbelievably. 

Maggie shook her head. "Your- your right! That's too easy!" She closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them again. "I'd- I would live for you!" She breathed fast. "For you I would!" She squeezed the bars at the sides of Alex. "I just want to please you. To make you see that I can be there for you. That I can do anything you want me to do. I'll be your's. I want to be your's." 

Alex was speechless. What was going on? 

Maggie whispered the next part. "Just let me be yours." She begged. "Please! Please. I'll be a good girl for you!" Maggie moved her hands to grab Alex's. "Or a bad girl if that's what you want." 

"No! That's not what I want!" Alex cried. 

Maggie's eyes widened, she stood back. "Well what do you want!?" 

She sounded sad. 

"What do you want!?" She yelled startling Alex. 

"I want my Maggie!" Alex yelled back. 

"Alex!" Maggie screamed.

Alex looked at her confused. "Huh?" She found herself saying weakly. 

"Alex. Come on! Open your eyes! Oh my god! Please!" Maggie cried. 

Alex suddenly found it hard to breath. She felt a pressure on her chest and a sensation on her lips. She reached up to her mouth. Her hand started to shake and she looked down at it. She grabbed it trying to get it to stop. But it wouldn't. She looked up at Maggie, but no one was there. She was alone. 

"Maggie!" She shouted. She was panicking. What's going on? "Maggie!" She shouted louder. "Winn! Mike! Lena! Kara!" She cried. "Somebody!" She screamed. She couldn't move now and everything was slowly getting darker and darker. She started to feel cold. 

She gripped her shoulders hard as she started to shiver. But she was struggling because she was slowly falling asleep. 

She felt her heart start to slow down. And her eyes slowly shutting. "I- I'm so tired." She whispered. 

As she started to drift she heard whispers. They kept saying no and please. But that was all Alex could make out. And even that was a struggle. They were so quiet and muffled. 

But one sound caught her attention in particular. One of the voices sounded like...

Kara. 

"Kara!?" Alex found herself screaming, but no sound came from her mouth. "Kara!" She tried again and this time she was whispering it. She felt her heart start to move. But very little. Her body warmed up a little. As if someone was holding her hand and another was resting on her chest. She attempted to breath and she struggled, but then when she tried again her lungs filled with so much air as she gasped deeply for it. 

"Alex!" 

The voices were clearer now. Not as loud, but clearer. There was even a faint beeping noise. 

"Kara!" Alex screamed. This time feeling herself succeed. "Kara? Maggie!?" She cried. 

"Alex!"

"Danvers please!" 

She yelled out one last time and she felt herself coming back to consciousness. She blinked her eyes open and was met with an annoying light. She moved her hand up to cover her eyes but was stopped by something. She looked down and saw her sister leaned up against the bed fast asleep, holding her hand. 

She smiled. 

She looked around while squinting and realized that she was in a hospital, and it was night time. Also  
the annoying light was the moonlight pouring in from the window. 

She heard shuffling over in the corner and her head shot over there. Her heart warmed with what she saw. 

Maggie was cuddled up in a very soft looking chair in the corner of the room, sleeping peacefully. 

She smiled at her and then looked down at her sister. 

But then that smile fell when she remembered what happened the last thirty hours or so. And what she dreamed of. 

It looks like Alex's hypothesis was right. Her reality and visions were merging and they were taking the form of nightmares. A tear slid down her cheek, but she wouldn't dare make a noise. She wouldn't dare wake her best friend or the woman of her dreams. 

She just laid there and stared up at the ceiling. Thinking over things. She just wants to get better. She wants a normal life. But she doesn't think she can have those things. 

Or that she deserves them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the next chapter I will try and explain when the whole dream thing happened and what it exactly means. Because Alex's whole 'vision' thing and dreams have different things going on. But for now, I will say, not all of her dreams are predictions. But they have an actual meaning to her emotions and feelings at the time. Better explanation coming soon:)


	5. A dream is a wish your heart makes

That entire night was long and very boring. 

It was impossible for Alex to fall back asleep. Considering she was asleep for a long while before.

She was... restless. And had a pounding headache. But this was good. Because being awake gave her time to reflect and think about things. 

What exactly happened earlier? Or... Yesterday? Alex couldn't be sure. She wouldn't know what day it was until Kara or Maggie woke up, and she could ask them. 

But that's besides the point. She freaked earlier and had a vision, slash daydream, slash nightmare. Then afterwards she must have past out, and that's when she went into her nightmare? But when? It all felt so real. The way Maggie talked to her... 

It was, it was-

 

"Alex?"

 

Alex was brought back to the hospital room, when she heard the sound of a whisper. She turned her head and first looked at Kara, assuming it was her. But then saw that she was sound asleep. So that only left one person. 

She looked up and saw Maggie looking straight at her with sleepiness in her eyes and what Alex wanted to say was sadness. 

"You're awake!" She whispered again. But this time a little louder than before. She got out of the chair and made her way over to Alex, while rubbing her aching back; from the uncomfortable way she sat. 

Alex immediately sat up. She panicked a little about how she looked. She hoped she didn't look like a sleepy bed headed mess. But who was she kidding. She looks like that everyday. She does live in the nut house after all. "Hey." She gave Maggie a small smile. 

Maggie came and stood next to her. She didn't know what to do or say exactly. So she did the first thing that came to mind. "You feelin any better Danvers?" She asked while carefully placing her hand on Alex's shoulder, hesitating a few times before making contact with the hospital gown. 

Alex couldn't help but notice the warmth radiating from Maggie. She quickly looked away so the girl couldn't see her blush. "Uh! They let you two stay the night? That's really surprising. When I interned for my mom at the hospital, absolutely no one was aloud to be there after 8 pm." 

"Well... Le- Mrs Luthor talked with the doctors and they eventually aloud us to stay. We got passes as guards. Which wasn't really a lie for me. But Kara was a little harder to convince." When Alex giggled Maggie's face completely lit up at the sight. "Wow." She breathed.

Alex turned and looked up at her. "What?" 

Maggie shook her head. "It's just. You're so beautiful when you laugh!" She breathed the last part. Angling her eyes down when she finished her sentence. Not sure if the words she just said was okay or not. 

Realization hit Alex hard. Causing her face to turn red and her heart to speed up. She turned away and looked down at her hands. Her eyes widened and she felt nervous in that moment. "Oh!" She started fiddling with her hospital blanket. 

Maggie looked back up. Her eyes widening. "I- uh... Not like that! I-I meant... I just... I think you're very..." She closed her eyes and sighed. Feeling she made the situation even more awkward then it was before. She couldn't help but feel sad when she saw Alex wrap her arms around herself. The girls hair curtained the sides of her face as she looked down. Maggie could have sworn she saw that lip quiver.   
"Alex?" She asked concerned. "Listen. It doesn't mean anything okay? You're my friend. At least I hope you are. I-I think you're a cool person and I really like talking to you... And I feel like I'm not helping the situation..." Maggie trailed off. 

Alex looked up at her and smiled. She started to giggle again. She sniffled before speaking. "We're friends. And I... really like you too." She smiled, then reached out for Maggie's hand, taking it in her own. 

The girl looked down at her, then at there conjoined hands. She lightly gasped. "I wanna see you more. And not as detective Sawyer, but Maggie. If you want me too that is." Maggie looked up at her.

Alex smiled. "I would love that."

 

Maggie's face lit up as she gazed into Alex's eyes. She didn't realize she was leaning in closer before Alex started to move back. She looked away from the detective and frowned. Maggie's face fell and she felt saddened, but also a little embarrass at her rash thinking. 

"I-I'm sorry." Alex breathed out after a few seconds of silence. 

Maggie moved back. She looked around and grabbed a chair and moved it next to Alex's bedside. "Don't be. I shouldn't have. I should be the one to apologize. I hope me being gay doesn't change things for our friendship." Maggie frowned. She wouldn't dare meet Alex's eyes. She just stared down at her lap. She felt... Ashamed of herself. Disappointed. In that moment she wished somethings about herself weren't the way they were, because she genuinely thought she ruined something. 

"Maggie." 

Alex's calm voice dragged her out of her thoughts. She looked up at her to be welcomed by the girls beautiful hazel eyes. She lightly gasped at the sight. 

Alex leaned over and pulled Maggie in for a hug. One that shocked the smaller woman. "If you think that's something that'd make me run, you're wrong. Completely wrong. I-I li... Just- this is complicated, okay?" Alex pulled back and looked at Maggie's gentle eyes. "I'm not- Maggie I'm not straight either." Alex furrowed her brows. She tightened her grip on Maggie's shoulders and gulped before finishing. "I'm not well. And I've done a bad thing." She shook her head. "You- don't want me." Alex let go and moved back, but Maggie grabbed her wrist before she could move away. 

"See that's just it." Maggie was panicking internally as she looked at Alex frantically, searching her eyes for something. Something to ground her. "I really really like you!"

Alex's eyes widened and her worried look stayed. She shook her head and removed her wrist from Maggie's gentle grasp. Her eyes watered and her voice broke as she spoke. "You cant." Her face began to contort with her emotions. She was trying so hard not to cry right then and there, but she was quickly failing. 

"Why!?" Maggie breathed. She was about to cry too. "It wasn't your fault Alex. You were just-"

"- I'm just crazy. That's it!" Alex finished her sentence for her. 

Maggie didn't say anything. She felt sad for the woman. She just wanted to help her. She felt so happy when she was around this woman.

Alex's breathing quickened. She moved a hand up to her head and raked her fingers into her hair, tilting her head some, to try and cover her face. She started to shake her head immediately after, breaking out into desperately quieted sobs. 

Maggie watched as she did this. Her whole face started to shift and change with her emotions. She worried for the girl. So much so that it caused tears to fall from her tired and sore eyes. She wiped the tears away quickly. Not wanting the woman next to her to see. She didn't know what to do. So she reached out and held Alex's hand, to comfort her. 

They sat like that for a while. 

Eventually, Alex stopped sobbing from exhaustion. Her eyes felt puffy and dry. She tried to rub away her tear stained eyes. She felt a little better now that she cried it out. But it made her feel like she could sleep forever. And that's just what she wanted to do. 

She leaned back and laid her head down on her pillow. She smiled for a second. At the feeling of Maggie's thumb rubbing soothing circles on her hand. She turned her head and looked at Maggie. 

Maggie's eyes were shut and she had her head resting on her hand, that was being propped up by her elbow on her knee.

Alex just looked at her. She looked so peaceful. She knew she shouldn't, but she wished in that moment that she could have a normal life like this. But minus the hospitals and the work visits. Just a normal house, a normal bed for the two of them, plus a dog if they so choose. They'd visit her mom for the holidays and hang out with Kara for game night. They have date nights. Go to dive bars for the hell of it. She could be a doctor again. Be in the military again. 

But the thing about wishes is that they never come true. At least for Alex. That doesn't even matter because she doesn't deserve it. Any of it. She's a murderer. She hurts people. She's insane. 

But Maggie deserves those things. She wishes she could be the one to give her these things. To make her happy. But Maggie more importantly deserves someone that isn't her. Someone who's normal...

Alex sighed. The thoughts were becoming to much. She shook them away. She just wanted to enjoy the moment they were in. For how ever long it would last. 

Enjoying the silence in the room as she began to nod off back to sleep. With an image of diamond rings coming to view as she was taken by her dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took to so long to get out. Ive just been so busy off and on the last couple months and I went through a very stressful relationship thing that has got me half angry and half not caring anymore about the person. And Im trying to get a job, so I've been going to a job training place. But I digress... I wrote pieces of this chapter at different times so I hope its not wonky. Ive also forgot specific things I wanted to do with most of my stories. But who actually writes and ends with what they had in mind. The story writes itself, am I right 


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